Post by bigdave on Sept 9, 2008 4:43:47 GMT -6
Holy sh!t! The organizer of a festival dedicated to swearing can’t actually stand to curse himself. His name is Alan Warner, and he’s the man behind the 2nd Annual Swearing Festival in San Francisco. Despite his God-damned hatred of swearing, Warner, who manages the Edinburgh Castle Pub, where the event was held, feels that naughty words play such a significant role in society and the literati that they need to be addressed.
“I wanted to explore swearing in an environment where women were the center of the show, so I could observe the differences between men and women,” Warner said. He also wanted to gain a better understanding of the limitations of swearing. “Cussing is like a cul-de-sac – you can only go so far with it, and then you have to stop,” he said.
Nonetheless, Warner opened the ceremonies with a triumphant statement: “There’s nothing as serious as swearing. I’m from fucking Glasgow [Scotland].” Among the great f*cking highlights of the swearing seminar was a panel discussion titled, “How the Sh!ts and F*cks Change the World,” where the sh!t flew between author Jack Boulware, Whore Magazine editor Ginger Murray and linguist Dr. Jonathan Hurt.
Murray began the discussion with a striking declaration: “Sh!t is the reason for civilization,” she proclaimed. “You can’t just sh!t all over the place,” she went on to explain. “It forces people to organize.” And, Boulware told the crowd, “sh!t” was likely the first word used by humankind. “Shitting was something cavemen did, so the rules of society, namely knowing where to put the sh!t, were established,” he said.
Boulware also made some interesting observations based on scientific findings. “A separate part of the brain is used for curse words,” he explained. “People with brain damage who can’t speak still have the ability to swear. “Swearing deals with primal emotions,” Boulware continued. This may explain why the most common last words uttered into the black boxes of doomed aircraft are usually “f*ck” or “sh!t.”
That evening, despite the f*cking steep $12 cover, the Edinburgh Castle Pub was elbow-to-elbow with assholes from various demographics. The walls were adorned with posters of myriad curse words such as “tw@t,” “darn,” “f*ck,” while huge, sparkling “f*ck” and “c*nt” banners decorated the small stage.
There was also a Vile Oath Wall, where attendees could scribble their favorite swear words.
Unfortunately for cussing enthusiasts, Warner says this year may mark the finale of the Swearing Festival. “I’ve reached the end of the cul-de-sac,” he said. “There’s no more to see.” But rest assured dickwads: Although the Swearing Festival may have hit the end of the road, there will never be a last call for swearing.
