|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Jan 11, 2012 13:36:35 GMT -6
no way, dude - this show is GREATNESS |
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Feb 8, 2012 16:45:21 GMT -6
AN OPEN LETTER FROM KENNY POWERS TO TIM TEBOW www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7552472/kenny-powers-eastbound-sends-open-letter-tim-tebowAs Yogi Berra famously said, "it's like Deja Vu came all over itself again."
The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story. Our story begins with a young mother- to-be who wants an abortion. Instead, she mans up and has the baby, giving birth to a son-child.
This special son-child makes a life out of bucking the odds. Though neither the strongest nor the fastest, he excels at sports. Many experts doubt the remarkable lad. They tell him he throws funny, and that he doesn't have the right physique for the game. It's science, they say. He'll only go so far.
But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters shit in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong.
Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a fucking angel on his shoulder.
And suddenly the experts don't look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don't like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes?
So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that's when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who'd a thunk it? The same old fuckin' story.
Maybe that's why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.
You see, Gifted Young Athlete, people look at us and they see all they don't have. It's like, "homeboy's over there gettin' 'er done! And Jesus loves him too! Fuck that guy."
But can you really blame them? Wouldn't you be pissed? Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part.
But my advice to you, Mr. Tebow, from one Gifted Young Athlete to another: don't kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness. Just hold on to your dick and have a good time. Believe me, it's all you can do. Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It's not our fault we're awesome, playboy. It's Jesus's. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
God Bless.
Kenny Powers
Shelby, NC
|
|
|
|
Post by mexicanjunior on Feb 14, 2012 16:16:17 GMT -6
The letter is good schtick...new season starts Sunday so I need to go ahead and change my HBOGO login info...
|
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Feb 15, 2012 8:22:27 GMT -6
I need to go ahead and change my HBOGO login info... |
|
|
|
Post by mexicanjunior on Feb 20, 2012 8:42:53 GMT -6
First episode was GREATNESS...already an improvement over last season. Jason So-Gay-Kiss had ALOT of good schtick as pretty much a doppelganger of Kenny. The locker room scene with them throwing out all the racist comments was solid. Kenny at the birthday party and also at the beach with those high school/college kids was good schtick also. VERY promising start to the season.
|
|
|
|
Post by Terd Ferguson on Feb 20, 2012 14:32:49 GMT -6
yeah...good stuff last night. Putt Putt fight and blaming the kid for the whole thing was funny.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Feb 20, 2012 16:36:12 GMT -6
yeah, the putt-putt fight was hilarious, and so was pretty much all of sudeikis' schtick - especially when he was watching junior's favorite movie of all time ("superfuzz") while babysitting and also his beach hainge
it was kind of disturbing how full-throttle april got, big snorting coke and everything, then panic leaving the baby with kenny
i hope stevie shows up at some point soon
|
|
|
|
Post by mexicanjunior on Feb 20, 2012 16:49:36 GMT -6
yeah, the putt-putt fight was hilarious, and so was pretty much all of sudeikis' schtick - especially when he was watching junior's favorite movie of all time ("superfuzz") while babysitting and also his beach hainge it was kind of disturbing how full-throttle april got, big snorting coke and everything, then panic leaving the baby with kenny i hope stevie shows up at some point soon I forgot about Superfuzz...greatness! Stevie was in the preview for the next episode. |
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Feb 24, 2012 9:41:23 GMT -6
The cartoon at 3:33 is MASSIVE shake laugh...
|
|
|
|
Post by mexicanjunior on Feb 27, 2012 18:19:59 GMT -6
One of the best EBAD episodes EVER...the Cherry Blossom schtick was genius...
"Focus on the pageantry..."
"The cherry blossom is now in full bloom..."
"We are serving dessert early..."
Will Ferrell had great schtick and the cannonball blowing up the guy that molested the maid was genius.
"Did you roll up a newspaper, tape a spoon to the end and explore her genitals?"
Stevie in the dealership was funny also, especially when those guys made him smell their fingers and Will Ferrell spraying Stevie down.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Feb 28, 2012 7:58:39 GMT -6
The Cherry Blossom schtick was funny, but also disturbing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Mar 6, 2012 7:57:20 GMT -6
Stevie & Maria decorating Toby's nursery in fast-motion to the Revenge of the Nerds music was shake laugh, ESPECIALLY when she mixed in the beej.
Can't believe the shocking ending with Jason So-gay-kiss.
|
|
|
|
Post by mexicanjunior on Mar 6, 2012 9:38:45 GMT -6
Stevie & Maria decorating Toby's nursery in fast-motion to the Revenge of the Nerds music was shake laugh, ESPECIALLY when she mixed in the beej. Can't believe the shocking ending with Jason So-gay-kiss. The Jason So-Gay-Kiss OD to Walk Like an Egyptian with Kenny doing the crazy dance was shake laugh... The beej and hainge Stevie got was funny, it almost looked like he was having trouble experiencing full release...he must have your daytime disorder also. |
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Mar 6, 2012 13:54:53 GMT -6
it almost looked like he was having trouble experiencing full release...he must have your daytime disorder also. *heartbeeps* |
|
|
|
Post by Sideshow Bob on Mar 12, 2012 14:26:52 GMT -6
stevie had some good panic face when nailing the mourning sister of so-gay-kiss in her car at the funeral and when maria cornholed him with the dildo
|
|
